


Combating Loneliness

by Rachello344



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 17:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6997540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachello344/pseuds/Rachello344
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Upon realizing how lonely he is, Shinichi begins spending time with both Hakuba Saguru and his friend, Kuroba Kaito.  Together, they seek solace and comfort, finding it in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Combating Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not sure how I feel about this one, to be honest. There are a lot of time skips, but I hope you'll all bear with me here. I don't know why I felt like giving this ship a shot today, but I hope at least one person likes this, even if it is out of the ordinary for me. If you enjoy reading it, I hope you'll consider leaving me a comment telling me what you liked!

Eating lunch in his office on a Tuesday afternoon, Shinichi realized he might be lonely. He stared for a long time at his noodles, frowning as he contemplated that.

Heiji was marrying Kazuha in the fall. Sonoko was already married to Makoto.  Ran and Sera had been dating since their wedding.  Haibara was surrounded by the Detective Boys.  Shinichi, though, was completely alone.

He loved his friends, but they were always busy— _he_ was always busy.  Had he always been such a workaholic?  Ran complained, of course, but surely he’d never been this bad?  He couldn’t remember the last time he went out for fun.

Determined to make a change somehow, Shinichi tucked back into his food. The first invitation he received, he’d accept.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, Kudou,” Hakuba waved him over, “Do you have a second?”

Shrugging, Shinichi came to a stop beside him. “Everything okay?”

“Yes and no,” Hakuba sighed. “I was going with someone to see my friend’s magic show, but she canceled last minute.  You wouldn’t happen to be free tonight, would you?”

“Tonight?” Shinichi considered his usual Friday night plans: sit at home and catch up on his reading with a mug of tea.  He met Hakuba’s eyes and smiled.  “I’m free.”

“Would you like to come with me? I don’t want the extra ticket to go to waste.”

“That sounds like fun. It’s been a while since I went to a magic show.”  Shinichi tried not to remember Kid’s last performance.  He failed.  “When’s the show?”

“Tonight at seven. We can meet at the station, if that’s alright?”  Hakuba smiled, looking relieved.  He always looked so handsome when he smiled properly.  It was a shame he didn’t do it more often.  (Maybe he was lonely, too.)

“Definitely. I’m going to get back to work, make sure we both get out on time,” Shinichi said.  “I’ll see you at the station.”

 

* * *

 

The show was better than Shinichi could have hoped. The tricks were thrilling and nearly impossible for him to figure out.  Somehow, they reminded him of…  He was half tempted to see another show to see if he could figure his tricks out.  He didn’t just want to see if the resemblance continued.  When Hakuba caught the look on his face, he laughed.

“Even if you come to another show, chances are he’ll change the lineup. He never performs the same set twice.”

“Oh, that’s right; you know the magician, don’t you?” Shinichi remembered.

Hakuba nodded, thumbing his ticket. “Kuroba and I have been friends since high school.  In a few minutes, we’ll be allowed backstage if you want to meet him.”

Shinichi tried not to look too eager when he agreed. If he noticed, Hakuba kindly said nothing.

 

* * *

 

Backstage, the magician in question was slouched in his seat. Without the spotlight and the stage, the man looked… defeated.  Shinichi felt a pang in his heart.  A kindred spirit, then.  When he looked up and saw them in the doorway, Kuroba put on a grin.

“Hakuba, you came! I thought after everything you might have stayed away, too,” he admitted.

Hakuba huffed, striding into the room. “Idiot, of course I came.  My best friend invited me to his show.”  He paused, considering, before pressing on.  “I tried to convince her to come, but…  Well, I ended up bringing Kudou with me instead.”

Kuroba’s head shot back up, cheeks flushing. He shot a glance to the door, wide-eyed.  “O-Oh!  I, uh, didn’t recognize you for a minute there.”  Standing, he bowed quickly.  “Kuroba Kaito.  It’s nice to meet you, Kudou Shinichi.”

Surprised, Shinichi returned the bow. “The pleasure’s mine.  Your magic was very impressive tonight.  I could only figure out one of them.”

Kuroba’s cheeks darkened with a blush, but his brow furrowed. “Which trick?”

“The one where you vanished from the audience.” Shinichi smiled sheepishly.  “I’ll admit, I’ve seen something similar before, so I had a bit of an edge.”

Kuroba’s mouth fell open for a moment, but he quickly shook whatever it was off. “Right, well, that hardly counts then, does it?”  He laughed, turning back to Hakuba.  “And you, London detective?  How many were you stumped on?”

Hakuba blinked in surprise. “You didn’t want me to focus on the how, so I didn’t bother deducing anything tonight.  I just experienced it.”

Kuroba looked touched. “You…  You turned it off for me?”

Hakuba shrugged. “It was a special occasion.  Not every day you invite me to a particular show.  I figured it must be important to you.”

“Thank you, Hakuba. I… appreciate that.”  Shaking his head, he turned back to Shinichi.  “And what about you, detective of the east?  Did you experience it?”

Shinichi considered his answer. “Well, I did try deducing for most of it, but by the time you hit your finale, I’d say I was the same as any other audience member: captivated.”

Kuroba spun around to hide his face, but Shinichi could see his blush in the mirror. Distantly, Shinichi realized that Kuroba was cute.  Shinichi wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t help but note the similarities.  The voice, the expressions, the way he held himself on stage…

“Why don’t we go out for dinner?” Hakuba suggested. “It’s a little late, but I know you didn’t eat, and I’m pretty sure Kudou didn’t either.”

“Guilty,” Shinichi agreed. “There’s a great Italian place down the street from here.”

“Let me finish locking some stuff up, and we can go, then,” Kuroba said, still not turning around. Hakuba motioned for Shinichi to leave the room.

“We’ll wait in the lobby for you,” Hakuba said. “Don’t take too long, alright?”

Kuroba waved absently, and Shinichi followed Hakuba out the door.

“He doesn’t need help?”

“No, and we’d probably be in his way.” Hakuba sat down on one of the benches available, so Shinichi sat beside him.  “Besides, I think he needs a minute to collect himself.”  Hakuba tipped his head back, looking at the ceiling.  “Our other friend, a girl he’s known since they were kids, is angry at him right now.  And on top of that, I brought someone he didn’t expect to see anytime soon.  He’ll be back to his usual self by the time he gets back here.”

“Someone he didn’t expect to see… Me?”  Shinichi frowned.  It was looking more and more likely, then.

“I don’t know if he’ll tell you himself or not, but I thought—out of everyone—you could understand how he feels the best.” Hakuba smiled at him, but it was strained.  “He and I didn’t always see eye to eye, but I don’t want him to suffer for his past.”

Heavy stuff. Shinichi nodded.  “I can definitely understand that.  I know more than I’d like to about fights with childhood friends.”

“Gossiping, Hakuba?” Kuroba asked. He looked annoyed, arms crossed.  “How unlike you.”

Hakuba shook his head, but didn’t look concerned. “Just saving him time.  You know he’d have it figured out by the end of the night anyway.”

“Really, he only confirmed a few things I already suspected.” Shinichi watched him for a moment.  He looked worried, under the irritation.  “He didn’t give any details, just the situation in general.”  Shinichi smiled.  “If you’re done, are we ready to go?”

Kuroba heaved a sigh. “Oh, I suppose, but Hakuba’s paying.”

“I did invite everyone out.” Hakuba shrugged.  When Kuroba shot him a look, he smirked.  “What, did I _surprise_ you, Kuroba?”

“You always seem to.”

With that, Kuroba led the way out the door.

 

* * *

 

The more they danced around it, the more frustrated Shinichi felt. The moment Hakuba got up to go to the bathroom, Shinichi leaned forward.  “You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, but you were Kaitou Kid, weren’t you?”

Kuroba froze, face going pale. “What?”

“If you were, I wanted to thank you.” Shinichi smiled.  “You made a difficult time of my life more bearable, and I’ve always been grateful.  Either way, it was refreshing to see such a talented magician on stage.  I’m sure your father would be proud of you.”

“You know who my father is?” Kuroba looked floored.  Shinichi had the inexplicable urge to take his hand in an effort to comfort him.

“I do. He was a genius magician, and a friend of my parents.”

“Oh my God.”

“What did I miss?” Hakuba asked, sliding back into the booth. Kuroba faced him with a ridiculous expression of surprise.

“Our parents are friends!” Kuroba said, gesturing wildly at Shinichi.

“Really?” Hakuba asked. “That’s an interesting coincidence.”

Shinichi felt his eyes narrow. Somehow, Shinichi had a feeling that Hakuba knew all along.  He already felt that everything was being manipulated by him, but this had to be a step too far.

When Hakuba met his eyes, his suspicions were all but confirmed. Even if it didn’t make sense, Hakuba had accounted for everything.  Shinichi was impressed; he decided to keep the realization to himself for now.

“Oh, and you missed it; Kudou here accused me of once moonlighting as Kaitou Kid.”

Hakuba and Shinichi shared a look at the word choice, but Hakuba only snorted. “I told you he would figure you out as soon as he met you.  Seeing as he’s still sitting here, I think I can guess it went well.”

“I thanked him,” Shinichi said. “Knowing that I might run into Kid made life more bearable a few years ago.”  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Shinichi abruptly remembered that—while Kid might have suspected his true identity—Hakuba had never spent much time around Conan.  The narrowed eyes gave away the wheels turning as Hakuba made and discarded theories.

 _Shit_.

“I feel like there’s a story there, but I think we should save it for another time,” Hakuba decided. “Now, Kuroba, tell me, you mentioned you were thinking about collaborating with Ms. Hopper.  Has she gotten back to you?”

“Jodie Hopper?” Shinichi asked. “The fire-breather?”

Kuroba beamed. “Only one of her many talents, I assure you.  I helped her out of something of a bind once, and we’ve been in touch ever since.  She’s coming back to Japan for a tour next month, so I asked if we could perform together.”  He laughed at something he no doubt remembered.  “She told me she expected me to be her headliner and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Tell me when you decide on a date,” Shinichi said, “I want to come.”

As Kuroba floundered, cheeks flushed again, Hakuba nodded and smiled. “I’ll buy you a ticket when I get mine.  Let me know if you want to invite anyone else.”

“I’ll do that.”

“I… I think I’m going to call it a night,” Kuroba announced.  “I’m feeling a little off after all.”  He refused to meet either of their eyes.  “Can we try to hang out again another time?  Maybe when I’m feeling more cheerful?”

“Fine with me,” Shinichi said, sparing Hakuba a glance. He looked pleased.  “I hope things look up for you.  I know we aren’t close, but if you want to talk…  I think we both know just how well I understand your situation.”

Kuroba met his eyes for a charged moment. Nodding once, he stood and bowed.  “I’ll think about it.  Have a nice night, okay?”

When he was safely away, Hakuba turned the talk to casework, and from there, it naturally shifted to their favorite novels.

By the time he got home, Shinichi felt better than he had in a long time. Maybe, with time, he could help Kuroba and Hakuba feel the same.  They both seemed to be as poorly off as he was, even though they had each other.  Another mystery to solve, he supposed.

 

* * *

 

The more they hung out, the more sure Shinichi became. They were as lonely as he used to be, whether they recognized it or not.  Catching the wistful way Hakuba looked at his phone, Shinichi spoke up.

“Before Kuroba gets here, I wanted to thank you.”

Hakuba looked up, frowning. “What for?”

“Inviting me to that magic show,” Shinichi said. “You couldn’t have known, but I’d just realized how lonely I was—all my friends are dating or married, but I’ve only really been in one relationship, and that ended years ago.”  Shinichi tried to ignore his embarrassment.  “Hanging out with you and Kuroba has been a lot of fun, and well, I don’t feel as lonely as I used to, so thank you.”

Hakuba ducked his head, as if he was embarrassed, too. “To tell you the truth, I suspected as much.  It’s why you were my first choice.  That and I knew you wouldn’t be bothered by Kuroba’s past.”  He smiled his relief.  “I should be the one thanking you.”

“Should I come back later?” Kuroba asked. “If we’re sharing feelings, I can leave and come back when you’re both done.”

Shinichi shrugged. “Don’t show up late if you want control of the conversation.  Besides,” he made himself look demure, “don’t you want to tell us how glad you are that we’re your friends?”

Kuroba snorted. “As if.”  He sat down and dropped his bag beside him.  “Just because you nerds are sentimental doesn’t mean I have to be.”

“Hopeless,” Hakuba sighed. “One day, we’ll teach you to be upfront about your feelings.”

At that, Kuroba actually flinched, expression turning pained. Hakuba and Shinichi froze in understanding.  This time, Shinichi didn’t think twice.  He and Hakuba reached for either of Kuroba’s hands without thinking about it.

“There’s nothing to do about the past but learn from it,” Shinichi reminded him.

Kaito closed his eyes. “I just wish she’d say something to me, even if she just yells at me the whole time.  I miss her.”

“I know,” Shinichi said.

“I’ve been talking to her, but it might be a while longer yet,” Hakuba said.

“Let’s not talk about this,” Kuroba declared with forced cheer. He removed his hands from theirs and pulled a deck out of his pocket.  “Tell me what you both think of this trick, okay?  My mom is having a party, and I want an excuse to spend the night playing with cards.”

Hakuba and Shinichi settled in to watch, critiquing and asking questions in turn. Shinichi’s heart ached.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t occur to him that anything had changed until Kaito showed up at his apartment looking like he was about to cry and said, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Shinichi let him in.

Saguru called after about fifteen minutes, sounding anxious. “Have you heard from Kaito?  I think he spoke with Nakamori today and—”

“He’s here, he’s safe,” Shinichi said quickly. “Why don’t you come over?  And bring ice cream.  I don’t have any.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

Shinichi returned to his seat beside Kaito, handing him the mug of cocoa he made him. Kaito glanced up at him, but ended up gazing sadly at the mug.

“Saguru’s going to bring ice cream.”

Kaito managed a watery smile, but otherwise said nothing. Kaito focused on his drink, slowly working through it as if it would bring him solace.  He was almost done with it when there was a knock on the door.

Shinichi glanced at his watch, but got up to let Saguru in.

The moment Saguru was in the door, he grabbed a spoon from Shinichi’s kitchen and forced Kaito into the middle of the couch as he sat down. Shinichi returned to his seat on Kaito’s other side.

“I got you cookies and cream,” Saguru said. “While you eat this, you’re going to tell us everything.”

Kaito blinked up at him. “You remembered my favorite ice cream?”

Saguru huffed. “Of course I did.  And it looks like Shinichi remembered that you like hot cocoa when you’re upset as well.”  He gave Shinichi an approving nod; Shinichi felt warm at the quiet praise.  “Now, are you going to tell us what happened?”

Kaito took a bracing bite of ice cream. “She misses me, but she doesn’t know if she can forgive me for lying to her for as long as I did, even if it was with good reason.  It doesn’t help that she found out by accident, either.”

Shinichi winced in sympathy and let himself lean a little closer until their sides were aligned. Saguru seemed to be doing the same.  After a beat, Kaito’s shoulders began to shake.

Shinichi met Saguru’s eyes over Kaito’s head, and in tandem, they wrapped an arm around him from either side. His head dropped forward, and all at once, it was like a dam broke.  He was nearly silent, but Shinichi had no doubt that he was crying.

Normally, Shinichi suspected Kaito would much rather do this alone, but he chose to come here, chose Shinichi. And he hadn’t asked Saguru to leave, which meant he, too, was chosen.  Shinichi rubbed circles along his side, making soothing noises.

Unthinking, Shinichi pressed a kiss to the side of his head, mimicking things his mother did whenever he was upset. Kuroba tensed for a moment, but was distracted by Saguru leaning his head on Kaito’s back.  Saguru was humming a soft melody under his breath.  The tension drained back out of him.

When his crying slowed to a stop, Shinichi stood, squeezed his shoulder once, and slipped away to the kitchen. He pulled two water bottles out of his fridge, and returned to the living room, sitting back down.

“Drink,” he said, uncapping the water bottle. “Otherwise you’re going to get a horrible headache.”

Kaito accepted it, and slowly, he drained the bottle without a word. “What do I do if she decides she never wants to see me again?” Kaito croaked.

“You take things one day at a time,” Saguru said, rubbing his back. “I don’t think that’s the decision she’ll make, but we won’t know until the day she tells you.  For now, there’s nothing you can do but wait and take care of yourself.”

“I hate waiting,” Kaito whined. “I want to just _do_ something.”

“The only thing you can do right now is choose to keep living,” Shinichi said. “With or without her, as hard as it is.”

“She’s like my sister,” Kaito said. “I’ve already lost half of my family once; I don’t think I can lose family again.”  Despite the sorrow in his face, Kaito yawned hugely.

“Why don’t you let yourself rest, and Saguru and I can make dinner, hm?”

Kaito nodded and took a long drink out of the second water bottle. Shinichi smiled faintly as he stood.  He draped a blanket over Kaito’s shoulders on the way to the kitchen, Saguru falling into step behind him.

They cooked in companionable silence. Shinichi slowly relaxed.  Even in such a stressful situation, Saguru made him feel safe and calm.  His presence was more soothing than Shinichi was used to.  He was surprised to realize how much he wished the three of them could sleep together in the same bed, safe and sound.

 

* * *

 

Shinichi was at lunch with Saguru when Kaito called with news.

“She’s willing to keep trying,” Kaito said in a hopeful rush. Shinichi beamed.

“Kaito, that’s great! Hang on, let me tell Saguru.”  He covered the speaker to repeat the news to Saguru; his smile went soft and fond.  “He’s happy for you, too, of course.  Why don’t we go out to dinner tonight to celebrate?”

“Are you sure that’s okay? You guys aren’t busy?”

“Not tonight we aren’t. You can pick whatever restaurant you want, okay?”

“Okay. You guys are…  I want to thank you both.  I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“What are friends for?” Shinichi asked, ignoring the strange feeling he had. He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t entirely telling the truth either.  Almost lying to Kaito didn’t sit right with him, but there was nothing he could do about it, not when he still wasn’t sure how he felt about Saguru as well.

 

* * *

 

Before Shinichi could get a handle on anything, Saguru made the first move.

“I’m in love with both you and Kaito,” he said simply.

“Both?” Shinichi asked. That was allowed?

“Yes. I’ve been in love with Kaito since high school, but the more I got to know you, the more sure I was that it was the same feeling.”  Hakuba hesitated, finally looking as nervous as the situation seemed to call for.  “I… between you and Kaito, I was more confident in predicting your reaction than his or I’d probably have spoken to you both at once.”

Shinichi nodded, thinking about things. Saguru loved them both, meaning he returned Shinichi’s feelings.  But Shinichi also…

“Would it be possible…” Shinichi hesitated, unsure of how to word his request.  “Oh, I should say first:  I feel the same,” he said, meeting Saguru’s eyes.  His relief was plain on his face.  “But when I say same, I…  Well, I think I’m also in love with Kaito.”

Saguru nodded. “I…  I’ll admit, I suspected as much.  The two of you get along so well, and you’ve always had an edge to your interactions.”

“If… If we both care for each other _and_ Kaito, then…  No, I don’t want to say anything until we know how he feels.”  Shinichi shook his head.  “I can’t think about this without getting my hopes up.”

“Then let’s call him. We can figure this out together, all three of us.”

When Kaito showed up, he took one look at them both and immediately began to fidget.

“Please tell me what’s going on. The two of you are making me nervous, sitting so quietly.”

“We’re in love with you,” Shinichi said, cutting to the chase.

Kaito went pale. “You… Both of you are…  With me?  But I don’t think…  I couldn’t…”

“And each other,” Saguru continued, interrupting Kaito’s babbling.

“You…” Kaito couldn’t seem to figure out what he wanted to say, but now that everything was on the table, color slowly flooded his cheeks.  He glanced between them as if seeing them for the first time.  “You love me _and_ each other?  So, two people each?”

“That’s right.”

“I… I think…  I think that’s probably good?”  Kaito rubbed his lip, anxious.  “I mean, I couldn’t ever choose between the two of you and I wouldn’t want either of you to be hurt…  And, I mean, I probably also maybe feel the same.”  Kaito’s eyes drifted up and away as he avoided eye contact.

Saguru stood abruptly and closed the distance between himself and Kaito. “I knew we’d get you talking about feelings before too long,” he said, smiling as wide as Shinichi had ever seen.  When Kaito met his eyes, Saguru leaned in for a chaste kiss.

Kaito just blinked for a long moment as Saguru turned and tilted Shinichi’s face up and into another kiss. Shinichi smiled, feeling warm all over.

“We’ll need to negotiate this, of course, but I think we can make this work,” Saguru decided.

“Before we get into any of that,” Shinichi said, standing, “I think fair’s fair.” He crossed into Kaito’s space, hesitating.  “Okay?”

Kaito seemed to snap back to himself, surging forward to kiss Shinichi.

Smiling, Shinichi took both of their hands. He felt a little dazed.  “We should definitely talk about this, but I kind of want to just kiss the both of you for a little while.”

Saguru smirked. “I have no objections.”

“Motion approved,” Kaito said. He looked more confident, his smile growing ever wider.  Shinichi felt his own feelings lining up.  There were bound to be ups and downs, but he was certain they could handle it.

All he knew was that he wasn’t likely to feel lonely anytime soon, not with two men who loved him by his side.


End file.
